Movie Review: A Breath Away (2018)

Now Playing & On VOD

AKA: Just a Breath Away; Toxic; Dans la brume

With so much of the film's budget and overall success dependent upon its special effects, it's become standard operating procedure for disaster movies to move as quickly as possible to get right to the catastrophic event.

Sketching the main characters with the broadest of strokes before placing them in peril, with only the briefest of introductions to guide us, all too often in this genre it's up to the actors and audience to fill in the rest.

And that's precisely what happens in director Daniel Roby's A Breath Away, which flies the viewer and our lead Mathieu (Romain Duris) to Paris and hits the ground running, before that is, the ground strikes back by knocking out the power after an earthquake and filling the city with toxic gas.

Discovering the deadly effect of the mist as bodies drop before his eyes, Mathieu races across the street from his apartment to the one that Olga Kurylenko’s scientist and teacher Anna shares with their beloved daughter Sarah (Fantine Harduin), who suffers from an immunodeficiency disorder and lives in a glass bubble.

While thanks to battery power, she's safe for the time being in her filtered air enclosure, Mathieu and Anna have no choice but to climb as high as they can past the line where the fog stops.

Taking refuge in the top-floor apartment alongside their elderly neighbors (Michel Robin and Anne Gaylor), after discovering that the substance is not only rising but also doesn't affect their skin, Mathieu suddenly turns into Indiana Jones while going on the hunt for supplies and oxygen masks so he and Anna can continue to change Sarah's bubble battery.

Realizing that help is not coming, they risk everything to track down the medical equipment their daughter would need for them all to leave the building together.

Never clarifying just what Mathieu's current relationship is with Anna and most pressingly, how he acquired his particular set of Liam Neeson worthy skills, while the logic challenged film asks you to overlook a lot (including how he suddenly seems to know the rules of surviving in the mist), the actors are game and Breath's cinematography and visual effects are first rate.

Shot by Pierre-Yves Bastard and boasting effects by Bruno Mallard and a gifted team, visually of course, A Breath Away pays tribute to thematically similar works such as The Fog and The Mist.

However, in pulse quick quickening action sequences which find Mathieu and Anna wandering the foggy streets of Paris with only a flashlight to guide them before Mathieu must race back to the apartment through a rooftop obstacle course, Roby's film is also reminiscent of apocalyptic disaster movies like I Am Legend and World War Z.

A far cry from his more contemplative roles in highbrow fare, it's here where we realize just how much A Breath Away is augmented by character actor Romain Duris' commitment — even to the ridiculous — in an impressive turn as our surprisingly action oriented lead.

Desperately in need of a stronger script, although Breath generates its fair share of excitement, it's a shame that, despite the talented cast and what should have been a naturally touching storyline, we just don't feel that connected to characters we know so extraordinarily little about.

Couple that with the film's inconsistency, including introducing Mathieu as a motorcycle rider and then forgetting he has a motorcycle until the end of the movie which — awesome action scenes aside — sure would have made more sense than wasting time and oxygen running around Paris by foot and we're left with a film that changes from scene to scene, kind of like the mist.

Infused with a pro-environmental message, while about halfway through the movie we start to get an inkling as to where this will all be heading, it still makes for an intriguingly Shyamalanesque turn of events, even if we wish that the work overall would've been worthier of the plot twist.

Striving to give its viewers a little of everything from action to horror to family drama, Roby's film loses its footing thanks to a weak foundation. And although it has its moments, like most disaster movies, A Breath Away will most likely be remembered for its big catastrophic event, a running Romain Duris, and foggy special effects.

Text ©2019, Film Intuition, LLC; All Rights Reserved. http://www.filmintuition.com Unauthorized Reproduction or Publication Elsewhere is Strictly Prohibited and in violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.  FTC Disclosure: Per standard professional practice, I may have received a review copy or screener link of this title in order to voluntarily decide to evaluate it for my readers, which had no impact whatsoever on whether or not it received a favorable or unfavorable critique. Cookies Notice: This site incorporates tools (including advertiser partners and widgets) that use cookies and may collect some personal information in order to display ads tailored to you etc. Please be advised that neither Film Intuition nor its site owner has any access to this data beyond general site statistics (geographical region etc.) as your privacy is our main concern.

Movie Review: Mountain (2017)

Now Playing

Fascinated by the kind of synesthesia that occurs at the opera wherein “you end up listening more with your eyes and seeing more with your ears,” Australia Chamber Orchestra Artistic Director Richard Tognetti was inspired to see if the same phenomenon could be true of film.

Commissioning documentarian Jennifer Peedom to help put this to the test, the two worked alongside Mountains of the Mind author Robert Macfarlane, principle cinematographer Renan Ozturk, and Oscar nominated actor Willem Dafoe to create Mountain.

Best described by Peedom as “a marriage of music, words and picture,” in which all but nine of the film’s seventy-four minute running time is devoid of music, this ambitious follow-up to her 2015 award-winner Sherpa is an extraordinary sensuous feast.

Longing to explore the various ways in which our ever-changing relationship to mountains have changed in a relatively short period of time, Peedom tapped Macfarlane to pen the film’s intentionally sparse narration.

A writerly marvel, with its rhythmic blend of research and poetry made all the more intoxicating by Dafoe’s pitch-perfect delivery, in spite of its short length, Macfarlane's script would make quite a compelling book in its own right.

Cutting the film’s excellently curated and state-of-the-art original cinematography together with its Australia Chamber Orchestra soundtrack of Chopin, Grieg, Vivaldi, Beethoven, and new compositions by Tognetti, we’re hypnotized by the way Mountain’s constantly moving camera glides over snow like a bow over strings.

Watching traffic queue up a mountainside curly-cue style before showering the screen with an almost otherworldly view of the night skies, Peedom and her team use music, cinematography, and editing to give us a vicarious emotional experience of the Everest highs to the volcanic lows of mountain life that's simply amazing to behold.

Filmed in twenty-two countries, this experimental work pushes the boundaries of what we use to define a documentary. Released in three distinct versions including theatrical, IMAX, and a special live edit to go along with orchestral accompaniment, Peedom's film dazzles regardless of format.

That said, of course, similar to the way that climbers need the best gear, audiences do as well. Much like its subject, size (and in this case sound) matters, and this Mountain is best experienced on the biggest screen you can find.

Get the Soundtrack

Text ©2018, Film Intuition, LLC; All Rights Reserved. http://www.filmintuition.com Unauthorized Reproduction or Publication Elsewhere is Strictly Prohibited and in violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.  FTC Disclosure: Per standard professional practice, I may have received a review copy or screener link of this title in order to voluntarily decide to evaluate it for my readers, which had no impact whatsoever on whether or not it received a favorable or unfavorable critique. Cookies Notice: This site incorporates tools (including advertiser partners and widgets) that use cookies and may collect some personal information in order to display ads tailored to you etc. Please be advised that neither Film Intuition nor its site owner has any access to this data beyond general site statistics (geographical region etc.) as your privacy is our main concern.

Blu-ray Review: Earth (2009)

Now Available on DVD & Blu-ray



Photo Slideshow



Related Works

Bookmark this on Delicious

Print Page





Thinking of going HD? If you're tempted to succumb to cheaper price-tags that adorn the dully lit 720p televisions as opposed to 1080p offerings-- which boast the same resolution as Blu-ray-- you should read on. For after just a few minutes of watching Earth, the inaugural release of Walt Disney's new label DisneyNature, you will have changed your mind completely.

For the DVD format, The Matrix was credited as the film that launched the digital revolution since in the early days of DVD over 80% of households possessed the title and indeed, it's the first film I saw on disc. Yet ten years later when it comes to Blu-ray and HD, for sheer jaw-dropping beauty, Earth is the movie that will validate your decision each and every time your credit card statement arrives.

While it's not a traditional cinematic masterpiece from a critical point of view since it's an abridged roughly 90 minute version of BBC's award-winning miniseries Planet Earth, this title marks the first time audiences have ever seen an aerial view of Mount Everest. To achieve this extraordinary feat, the BBC/DisneyNature/Discovery Channel production was granted "unique access to a Nepalese Army spy plane" to produce footage from that altitude.

And because it is derived from previously televised source material, I'm unsure if Earth would qualify for a cinematography Oscar nomination. However it's arguably the most breathtaking work of the year from a sensory standpoint. More than just a documentary, Earth is a film to which you could meditate without the sound due to the gorgeous craftsmanship involved in the endless pans and unique edits to illustrate the way that the seasons change and animals grow.

In anticipation of its release, Earth was filmed completely with high-definition cameras which makes Blu-ray the ultimate way to appreciate not just the film's scope but also the tireless and daring result of, as Variety cited nearly thirty cinematographers. The group who risked their lives for more than four thousand intense days of photography took part in "the biggest documentary production ever" with a budget that's upwards of forty million dollars. And to the their professional credit, everything is captured onscreen without the use of computer graphics.

Granted when I started the film, I feared I was going to have to eject the Blu-ray in favor for the combo package's DVD since the Blu's menu was so difficult to navigate that I suffered three false starts while attempting to watch the movie without the picture in picture filmmaker commentary. Still, once I managed to get it playing, from the technical side alone, this Disney release has surpassed the other front-runners of must-owns for high definition junkies so far in '09 including several produced by the same studio.

However, I must confess that as much as I love the idea of nature, I'm not someone who could ever be mistaken for outdoorsy or a nature girl since I was quite possibly the only audience member to nearly fall asleep out of sheer boredom at the overly long March of the Penguins despite my admiration for it again as a beautiful work of art. Despite this I loved Werner Herzog's Encounters at the End of the World even though its focus was on eccentrics more than history and I enjoyed Arctic Tale aside from the narration written for Queen Latifah which was especially cringe-worthy. Yet after staring at this screener for a couple weeks before taking the plunge, I can truly say that even for those who dislike hiking and camping, Earth was an extremely pleasant surprise that far surpassed the aforementioned works.

Likewise, it's just the right length in ensuring it doesn't over-analyze every single organism in the narration written for James Earl Jones (who takes over for the voice of Planet Earth, Mr. Patrick Stewart). Nor does Earth relish in the gore of attacks or slithering reptiles that may have driven younger viewers and this reviewer to nightmares as we move from the Arctic to the mountains to the tropics to the desert and beyond.

Of course, global warming is touched upon and it's truly heartbreaking to see a polar bear swimming--the same way we do, mind you for those who debunk evolution-- out much too far to try and acquire food to his peril. Yet Disney leaves lectures about our planet's condition to Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio via their acclaimed documentaries An Inconvenient Truth and The 11th Hour respectively.

Having seen Penguins and Arctic Tale, I was especially thrilled when Earth moved away from the icy terrain. In doing so, audiences could enjoy the bizarre and often unintentionally humorous footage of not just a baby elephant on his first "road trip," but in my favorite segment, unprecedented access to species of birds which I'd never seen before in my nearly three decades of life on our planet.

Winner of the Heartland Truly Moving Picture Award, Earth is a terrific kick-off to Disney's new banner of nature themed works which couldn't be timelier as this disc also presents us with a glimpse of 2010's Oceans. Earth is also noteworthy for honoring the way that Disney is able to stay with the times yet never abandon their roots given the studio's 1950s topically similar Oscar winning True Life Adventure documentary series.

Moreover, it's this amazing benefit of granting viewers the chance to go places we'd never be able to visit from the top of Everest to the inner regions of the tropics that make documentaries like Earth so valuable and necessary from an educational perspective.

Text ©2009, Film Intuition, LLC; All Rights Reserved. http://www.filmintuition.com
Unauthorized Reproduction or Publication Elsewhere is Strictly Prohibited.

Film Intuition Contest Announcement: Win 20th Century Fox's Home on Blu-ray

Deadline:
Sunday, June 14 (Midnight EST)

Rules:

Open to All Readers with the Ability to Play Region 1 Blu-ray Discs. Two winners will be chosen at random from the entries received via our official entry form you can find here The winners will be notified via e-mail following the deadline.

Details:

A Fascinating And Enlightening Look At The Unshakable Bond Between Humans And Earth, Narrated By Oscar® Nominee Glenn Close, Debuts On Blu-ray And DVD June 5th From 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment: Specially Timed For World Environment Day As The First-Time Ever Simultaneous, World-Wide, All Format Release.

Home by Yann Arthus-Bertrand will be broadcast in the US on June 5th at 9pm ET/PT exclusively on the National Geographic Channel, as part of the film's global premiere in conjunction with World Environmental Day.

Synopsis:

It’s too late… to be a pessimist when the inspirational, informative and breathtaking documentary, Home soars onto Blu-ray and DVD June 5, World Environmental Day, from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment. Directed by internationally renowned French photographer Yann Arthus-Bertrand, produced by world famous director Luc Besson and narrated by five-time Academy Award® nominee Glenn Close (Dangerous Liaisons), Home aims to change the way people see the planet and their impact on it. Shot in high definition in 54 countries and 120 locations over 217 days, the unique and first-time ever all-aerial filming style highlights the Earth’s wonders as well as its wounds and provides a necessary perspective to approach the changing environment.

In 200,000 years on Earth, humanity has upset the balance of the planet, established by nearly four billion years of evolution. The price to pay is high as humankind has barely ten years to reverse the trend, become aware of the full extent of the Earth’s riches and change its patterns of consumption. Following in the tradition of Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, Home sets out to shift people’s perceptions, inspire action and lay a foundation for the edifice that must be rebuilt.

More than a movie, Home will be a major event all over the globe; for the first-time ever, a film will be released in every format, including in movie theaters, on television, DVD/Blu-ray Disc and the internet, on the same day in over 50 countries to reach the widest audience possible.

Blu-ray Specs:

The Home Blu-ray Disc is presented in widescreen format (1.78:1 aspect ratio) and features English 5.1 DTS HD-MA and French 5.1 Dolby Digital audio.



Related Titles

Note: Originally Published in Jen's P.O.V. -- Misc. Reviews, News & Interviews. Be sure to check back often for updates or Follow Film Intuition on Twitter for the latest news.

Bookmark this on Delicious

Print Page

Blu-ray Review: Arctic Tale (2007)

Now Available on Blu-ray

Previously Offered on DVD & Video On Demand

Bookmark this on Delicious

Print Page




What a difference a few decades makes! While the environment and discussion of climate change was definitely around in the 1980s, it wasn’t until after we hit the new millennium that it started to become the recurring and predominant backbone for works that focused on nature and the increasing devastation that will only get worse if we refuse to face this very Inconvenient Truth-- to quote the title of Al Gore’s Oscar winning documentary a few years back.

While no film has yet to rival the combination of strength, urgency, passion, and clarity served up in Gore’s Power-Point style presentation as a man on a mission—there’s been a great influx of nature documentaries aimed at those who will inherit this Earth in the future.

With the smash success of the Oscar winning The March of the Penguins which charmed audiences from all walks of life from around the globe helped bring a blend of science and nature into the lives of children in a far more impactful way than my era of Free Willy, Raffi’s hit kiddie song “Baby Beluga,” and my Shamu stuffed animal— children have been inundated with more nature works such as Earth, the most recent Disneynature theatrical version of the BBC documentary Planet Earth and via Paramount Studios Home Entertainment’s Blu-ray release of their 2007 work Arctic Tale.

From those who managed to March those irresistible Penguins in association with Starbucks Entertainment and National Geographic Films, this fifteen year labor of love from husband and wife filmmaking team Adam Ravetch and Sarah Robertson also boasts a link to Al Gore in the form of his daughter Kristin Gore who serves as one of the contributing writers to the film’s narrative track brought to life by Queen Latifah (Last Holiday, Chicago, Bringing Down the House).

And although the attempt to combine the message of And Inconvenient Truth with the beauty of footage presented to us in the wildly popular (yet admittedly slightly dull) Penguins is admirable indeed, in the end Arctic Tale is an uneven film.

This seems mostly due to the fact that the sheer power of its stunning images are hindered by a folksy script that finds Latifah making “that’s how we roll” and “slippery little suckers” type of jokes throughout. Likewise, and much to the detriment of their absolutely stunning piece of work, the filmmakers (or possibly their studio inspired editing team) additionally try to insert the same kid-friendly appeal of Disney and DreamWorks pieces by working in a kitschy soundtrack as “We are Family” bursts out of the speakers and there’s an obligatory, overly long sequence completely comprised of flatulence and belching in trying to make the incredible footage of the walruses seem instead to have been extras from the film Shrek.

Despite this, the movie is one you can’t miss for the sheer beauty and magnitude of it as a historical document since sadly--as reminded throughout in a nice generational blend of global warming and other statistics to intrigue adults and a nice “family unit” style circle-of-life plot-line for children—we learn that the ice could all disappear from the Arctic area by 2040.

Far more female-centric than March of the Penguins and one that rivets in an old-fashioned way by presenting us with an admittedly human styled “coming-of-age” paradigm (aside from the clichés and contrivances contained in the poor script) that would probably send most scientific minds reeling as we follow two female newborn animals—the sweet-natured polar bear cub Nanu and the strong female in training Seela, a walrus pup.

Selecting to combine these two vastly different realms of the Arctic as the bears are fundamentally land-based and the walruses have their domain in the sea is an intriguing choice that benefits the work and one that was inspired when as the Paramount Classics press notes reveal, “Ravetch and Robertson noticed something they had been told almost never happened in the wild—polar bears and walruses crossing paths.”

Amazed by the fact that they repeatedly observed “these two titans of the Arctic coming together and clashing,” Ravetch explained that upon further research, they started to realize how much both species have “in common because they are both so profoundly dedicated to caring for and teaching their young,” thereby decided that they aspired to “share this [lesser-known and rarely studied] side of these magnificent animals.”



While the walruses all huddle close together throughout their lives—just like the polar bears, the rearing of children is left primarily to the women as a newborn baby walrus (which Latifah points out is something that doesn’t happen very often, thus making a new “pup” a treasured addition to the herd) finds they’re protected completely by both their mother who nurses them as well as one bodyguard like “Auntie” ready to fight off anything that stands in their way including polar bears who are at a disadvantage in the water.

However, on the crisp snow and ice of the Arctic, the polar bears rule their domain, although fascinatingly the female bears serve as single parents, rearing the young and trying with all her might to fend off the older male polar bears prone to attacking baby bear cubs.

Additionally devoting her time to teaching the baby cubs how to hunt for food, audiences are quick to understand just how important of a task and skill this is since-- out of nineteen attempts-- they’ll only succeed a single time and as we see in the film are always on the threat of starvation, sometimes securing food only once in a half a dozen months.



And although primarily the directors focus on the journey of the younger animals in these two species (obviously taking liberties and suspending disbelief since animals change and ice moves every year in a territory where it can take months to land a shot), nature lovers will rejoice in the wide variety of other animals caught on film.

From the ringed seal (a distant cousin of the walrus and incidentally the favorite food of the polar bears) to the amazing “unicorns of the sea” in the Narwhals whom Latifah describes one can liken to “a lost tribe of the Arctic,” to birds, lots of marine life and beluga whales—I was dazzled by just how clear and varied the footage was from the talented crew members who risked life and limb by getting ridiculously close to animals that could kill them within an instant.

And as we learn in the “making-of” extra, to do so, they even went as far as to don cumbersome underwater gear to swim with the animals and get a better point of view in presenting us with treasured images the likes of which most of us will never have the opportunity to see.



Although this is all unfortunately wrapped up in the hokey trappings of a lackluster narration that the otherwise talented Latifah sincerely tries to make come alive with her warmth and humor-- nonetheless it’s an inspiring, refreshingly G-rated and celebratory work. Likewise, it's one you can feel safe sharing with your family as the filmmakers—parents themselves—make the commendable and tasteful decision not to serve up any gore throughout.

While of course, you may wish that some of the attributes like “We Are Family” and endless flatulence would’ve been left on the cutting room floor as well as any carnage—this wondrously vivid and crisp presentation sparkles nicely in a Blu-ray edition that rivals the expense and quality of taking the entire family to an IMAX work (with the full 1080 pixel high definition sound and clarity of image).

Moreover, it also adds in some nice bonus features about the making-of-the-film and craft of polar bear spotting which-- despite being only included in standard definition-- help give you an even greater appreciation for not just the great pains taken in crafting the film itself but more importantly our precious responsibility to ensure that the Arctic will still exist in 2040 as our children will find themselves touched by the plight of Arctic Tale’s “animal” children.

Also Recommended:

Werner Herzog's
Encounters at the End of the World

TV on DVD: Nature Tech

The Award-Winning
Smithsonian Channel Series
Nature Tech
Evolves Onto DVD
1/13/09

Visit the Smithsonian Channel Site

Video Clips:

"Inspiration Can Come From Anywhere."

"Under the Sea."

"It's a Bird, It's a Plane--
It Flies Like Both."

Over the course of the roughly two and a half hour DVD which features the three episodes of the Smithsonian Network miniseries documentary Nature Tech, audience members--like this reviewer-- who can barely recall their high school science courses get a visually arresting and highly compelling refresher course with an emphasis on green technology and the groundbreaking discipline of "biomimetics." (Yeah, I'd never heard of it either.)

Described as an "evolving science" that fixates on "nature for answers to modern problems in unexpected ways," we discover the way that long before science was a pursued course of study, nature-- or more precisely evolution-- served as the "ultimate inventor." Having not only "solved all of life's problems," over the course the 4 billion-year history of our planet, this Emmy and multiple award winning series further explains that "many of man's most-clever engineering solutions have exact counterparts in nature."

Broken up into three parts, the DVD begins with Energy is Key, which gives us an overview of the way we've used energy over the course of history from the Bronze Age up through the Industrial Age-- perhaps without comprehending (as we now know) the astronomical cost that it's had on Earth.

Introducing us to the concept of biomimetics which has flourished in the wake of the dubbed "Information Revolution," we're given an insider's view of the way that nature has kept us moving forward. Featuring a refresher on the basics of photosynthesis, Energy is Key also boasts a particularly fascinating segment on the Gemini House in Austria as we learn more about the costly solar panels which rotate with the sun as though they were leaves until the documentary breaks it down even further by analyzing the wonders of leaves themselves and the chemicals and membranes therein.

Spending some time discussing the hybrid car and hydrogen fuel cell debate and the double-edged sword of needing to cause pollution to make pollution-free cars, the episode soon moves unexpectedly into the realm of termite colonies and the way that the intricate ventilated clay mounds with constant temperature have inspired builders to look for energy efficient methods in their own construction.

In the Emmy award winning Magic of Motion (which received an honor for its breathtaking cinematography), we go way back in time to study the evolution of movement and the way that legs, wings, and fins have inspired us in the realm of cars, bikes, and planes as we're advised to "look again" at the impact that researching a bird's "lift-off" led to gliding which ultimately evolved into airplane travel.

A rich and involving episode filled with scientific history that's affected the lives of all inhabitants, Magic of Motion is a particular standout in a series of superlative documentaries that come highly recommended for school libraries and/or supplemental scientific education for interested or home-schooled students (and also earned the series a Gold Parent's Choice Foundation Award).

Additionally, it leads into a thought-provoking analysis of design in The Material World that begins by introducing us to greenhouse history and London's "Crystal Palace," to again inspiring us with the idea that leaves can support enormous weight as the scientists blend the study of the natural world with that of the human body, using human femur inspired structure from our skeletons to erect tall buildings and landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower.

A fascinating subject that's captured in an energetically creative way filled with candid nature footage that's sure to appeal to students, Nature Tech makes suitable viewing for all ages but would be of particular benefit to those at the level of middle school or above to fully absorb the vast knowledge offered up by the filmmakers that will no doubt play better on additional viewings, not to mention would be augmented by an interactive classroom curriculum and further study.

As someone who was always intrigued by science yet didn't excel in the subject or pursue it as much as I would've liked, it's a great and incredibly timely look at the state of our planet and features an admirable approach to use creative thinking and problem solving from the natural world to resolve conflicts that have been created by men.

A celebration of evolution and the rich and incredibly complex ways plants, animals, and humans have changed over the years-- with the underlying theme that there is more to every living thing than one can possibly begin to understand (as you'll never look at a leaf in precisely the same way again)-- Infinity Entertainment Group and Smithsonian Networks' acclaimed program hits DVD retail markets like Amazon on January 13, 2009.

WALL-E

Director:
Andrew Stanton

Although most of us run from fix-ups, even if they are preferable in my humble opinion to speed-dating, matchmaking websites, and singles bars, imagine what a tough sell it would be to try and set up a friend like WALL-E. The pitch would have to be well-rehearsed but would most likely go something like this: “I know this great guy. Well, he’s self-employed which in our technology driven society is really impressive… oh, well, technically he’s in waste allocation, actually. He loves movies—Hello Dolly is his favorite and he listens to show-tunes all day. Yes, I’m sure he likes females. Other hobbies? Well, he collects things… oh, um sporks, Rubik’s Cubes, bras, bowling pins, Zippo lighters. Personality? Well, he’s someone of few words, kind of a loner… no, actually, he doesn’t really have any friends but you just know he’s one of the good ones. Wait-- where are you going?”

Needless to say, if WALL-E lived in today’s society and not seven hundred years in the future, he’d be the prime candidate to star in a modern remake of the Ernest Borgnine classic Marty. If you know, it was animated by those wizards at Pixar who by now probably have so many awards that they could possibly build an entire studio out of gold. There’s just something instantly huggable about the titular lead character in their latest film WALL-E that turns viewers into the office busybody, the over-eager relative or worse, those smug married friends who all just want to see this adorable Waste Allocation Load Lifter: Earth-Class robot find himself a nice robotic girl already. And while we’re at it, hopefully a fellow movie buff unafraid of director Gene Kelly’s less-than-stellar 1969 Barbra Streisand film Hello Dolly and someone with whom WALL-E can roam his bleak, deserted, overwhelmingly trash filled, sundrenched and beige version of Earth set seven hundred years in the future where rampant consumerism and greed have taken the color out of everything with nary a blue sky, crystal clear lake, or flower, and one in which humankind abandoned years earlier to live blissfully ignorant, fat and happy reaping the benefits of virtual reality in space.

Far from the upbeat setting one would anticipate from the studio of Walt Disney, there’s still something surprisingly sweet, infectious, and romantic and quintessentially uplifting in its forty minute opener. And although the movie is preceded by Presto, another ingenious new short film from Pixar, it’s superfluous as the studio may have been better off dividing WALL-E into two distinct longer length short films as while the second half—despite making excellent points likening it in some critical circles to an adolescent version of An Inconvenient Truth—is shockingly bleak in its unflinching presentation of a man-made consumer driven dystopia that, while the youngest audience members won’t pick up on its true political mores, ages six through ten may be a bit too bothered by what they’re facing onscreen.



Still, it’s an outstanding and vital achievement and I can’t praise the first half enough as in contrast to its futuristic setting, WALL-E feels anachronistic yet welcomingly old-fashioned, nostalgic, wondrous in its simplicity like an animated silent film, introducing us to its oddball, outsider loner WALL-E who dutifully goes about his days compacting trash into manageable small square shapes, with absolutely zero company save for his tape recorder filled with love songs and the comforting images of Hello Dolly that delight him in the evening when he retreats to his hideout with whatever pieces of human loot he’s found that day. Therefore, when a ship arrives dropping off the sleek, blue-eyed, pristine, curvier, female robot Eve, WALL-E is determined to put his best battery forward, in making the ideal computerized first impression, yet he’s taken aback by her mission-oriented, lethal personality, shooting things at will which theoretically would have sent most men running, yet WALL-E’s off-the-charts loneliness and instant attraction causes his operating system to run wild with romantic imagery. Soon Louis Armstrong sings “La Vie En Rose” while he works to subliminally gain her interest, creating a self-statue of himself, worshipping her from afar until intimacy is sped up when he must pull her to safety to avoid a violent dust storm and sweetly, like a teenage boy on a first date, he tries to figure out the best way to inch closer to Eve and is delighted when she seems to share his Dolly enthusiasm.

Unfortunately their romance is cut short when her goal is reached and she must return home with WALL-E impulsively becoming a harmless stalker-bot, hitching a ride on her ship, only to discover life as a “foreign contaminant,” on a space station where former Earthbound humans have turned into helpless blobs living in beach styled recliners, their every whim catered to by technology, and a lifestyle best surmised by the company that sponsors it-- Buy ‘N Large. Although in his quest to win Eve’s heart or rather her memory card, WALL-E becomes the unwitting hero to help restore Earth to what it once was, but this gloomy Aldus Huxley, Orwellian like glimpse of the future and dark tone complete with allusions to everything from I Am Legend to Blade Runner to 2001: A Space Odyssey makes a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn from the way the film began and while Pixar still stands above and beyond others in offering intelligent, contemplative, and gorgeously sophisticated animation, when reviewed as an entire picture, WALL-E feels glaringly uneven and surprisingly dissatisfying with its ugly final act, despite an obligatory happy ending, yet in its brilliant opening which just consisted of WALL-E and Eve, what they managed to create is the best proof of their perfection as a studio since Finding Nemo.

Still, for younger audiences, I would recommend Kung Fu Panda, before suggesting you bring the tykes to WALL-E, with the fear that for those who are able to get the admittedly highly important politically implications that seemed inappropriate given its target audience, it may cause nightmares about an uncertain future reminiscent of the cold war scares faced by elementary school children of the baby boom generation. However, for those looking for something heartfelt and genuine, I can’t think of a better and more surprising (and therefore impressive!) date movie—far superior to the by-the-numbers rom-coms of 2008 so far—than the first half of WALL-E.

So in the end... I guess I believe in cinematic speed dating after all.