DVD Review: Top Secret! -- I Love the 80's Widescreen Edition

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"How silly can you get?" is not just the name of the song sung by the '80s hybrid version of Elvis Presley and The Beach Boys all rolled into the character Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer in his very first role), but essentially the ongoing quest from filmmakers Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker with their bizarre German spy comedy Top Secret!

While the filmmakers have vocally shared their displeasure with the finished product and as Christopher Null reported on FilmCritic.com ultimately "most of [their]... cast went AWOL the day production wrapped," it's nonetheless turned into a cult favorite among some ardent fans including Roger Ebert who penned a three and a half star love letter to the work back in its 1984 release.



Overall, the type of movie that has viewers split down the middle into love it or hate it, unfortunately-- catching it for the first time ever here in 2009-- I'm more more prone to go towards the latter category, sadly only recalling three to five major laughs in its ninety minute running time which-- given the filmmakers' noted five-gags-a-minute approach established in Airplane! and The Naked Gun, is nowhere near enough to recommend it.

The film's tagline which announced "Movie? What movie?" seemed to make as much sense as its nonsensical plot of which neither Roger Ebert nor Christopher Null could recount either and is summed up in one sentence on the box from the newest Paramount release in VH1's ongoing "I Love the 80's" collection (despite the fact that it should read '80s).

Ostensibly about a young rock 'n roll singer who personifies a more right wing version of The Beach Boys in his introductory hit which finds him skeet shooting while surfing (despite the fact that in 1984, Elvis and The Beach Boys as well as beach movies were at least two decades old from making successful movie fodder)-- Rivers ends up filling in for Leonard Bernstein at an East German cultural festival.



Obviously, it's only a matter of time until he finds himself embroiled in a covert spy scheme as he assists a beautiful young woman on the hunt for her missing scientist father, joins the resistance, and of course, manages to find time to amuse with some show-stopping numbers.

Nailing the Elvis hip swivel-- Kilmer's natural charisma is what shines through and the film's high points are felt every single time the plot is stopped for one more number as the over-the-top singer goes so into the character of his songs that he pulls a girl out of the audience to croon his wish to spend the night with her (let alone that he made the foolish choice of selecting a girl who easily looks twelve) and feigning suicide onstage until his band and roadies pull his head out of ovens and body off of the railroad tracks that travel with him for his performances.

Spoofing everything from Casablanca to The Blue Lagoon, Top Secret! also features an amazing cameo by Omar Sharif (amazing-- that is-- that he would actually be in the film's veritable disaster yet perhaps this explains his immediate departure from the set as well). And when I did my homework to see just where the funny fell apart, I found that it would've probably played much better if I was familiar with Yiddish which is seasoned throughout that-- when translated-- definitely adds more laughs to the piece.



Sadly, despite the attempt by an earnest and wildly talented Kilmer (that makes it worth a painful look just for his fans), it's a non-comedy that fits its poster's "Shhh!" header completely as-- instead of this mess-- for Zucker, Abrahams, and Zucker at they're finest, I'll choose Airplane! every time. Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop watching that one... to misquote Lloyd Bridges... oh yeah, and "Don't call me Shirley."

Blu-ray Review: Ghost (1990)

Get Your Pottery Wheel Ready

One of the most unexpected box office smashes of 1990, filmmaker Jerry Zucker's Ghost would go on to receive five Oscar nominations and two golden statues-- one for Whoopi Goldberg's Best Supporting Actress turn and the other for Bruce Jay Rubin's Best Original Screenplay. However, the film's most endearing legacy is how iconic it's become in nearly twenty years since its release with countless parodies of that famous, sensuous pottery scene, bringing The Righteous Brothers' unforgettable "Unchained Melody" back to radio airwaves, and becoming one of the most popular romantic films of the '90s.



Admittedly, I was a bit nervous to check the film out once again-- having seen it more than a decade ago on VHS and realizing that my memory of it may be stronger than the work itself, coupled with my fear that special effects movies traditionally weaken with time (E.T. for example).



Yet, amazingly, the film felt just as powerful; while Demi Moore's pixie hairstyle and tomboy wardrobe still makes me cringe especially considering how gorgeous the actress was and still is, it's a good fifteen to twenty minutes too long, and some of the slightly cheesy logical gaps weaken it as a whole, as a cinematic experience, Ghost hasn't aged a bit.



Recently released in a stunning Paramount Blu-ray transfer with amazingly crisp sound and tremendous picture quality, making the film look as though it were a new release (despite those Flintstones looking PCs used in the Wall Street scenes), it's well-worth the upgrade if-- much like this reviewer-- the last time you saw Ghost was on VHS and you haven't yet purchased a digital version.

While it's the pottery wheel and Righteous Brothers that have become the most singularly famous moment from the film, no doubt sending numerous women to take pottery courses at local community education centers, seeing it again for the second time, I realized that the producers missed a second yet equally important "product placement" or advertising opportunity as the film is the ultimate argument for the existence and purchase of waterproof mascara.



For, not only does the beautiful Moore tear up in virtually every scene (even crying on the film's haunting menu screen as the Blu-ray cues up) but no doubt, a tragically large majority of female audience members who spent most of the 126 minute running time fishing for their tissues left the theatre looking like raccoons.

To refresh your memory and for the five of you reading this review who haven't seen it, Ghost centers on a well-to-do New York couple who find their relationship shattered when Sam (Patrick Swayze) is shot during a failed robbery, leaving his sculptor girlfriend Molly (Demi Moore) reeling in heartbreak. Somehow stuck between the real world and the supernatural Heaven, Sam realizes he hasn't moved on, still walking down the streets, following his beloved whom he can't communicate with or comfort as she struggles to move on with her life, along with their mutual best friend (Tony Goldwyn).



When Sam discovers that his death wasn't an accident and that his girlfriend's life is in danger, he makes every attempt to warn Molly and stop the villains responsible, with the help of a local formely phony "storefront psychic" Oda Mae Brown (Goldberg), who amazingly-- having never had an actual ability previously, snowing her customers as a successful scam artist-- discovers she can hear Sam.



Although it begins in earnest as a straightforward romance, in the tradition of classic Paramount tearjerkers like A Place in the Sun, Roman Holiday, An Officer and a Gentleman, and Love Story, screenwriter Rubin keeps audiences on their toes by injecting the piece with surprising humor as well as a thrilling and intense mystery that manages to blend numerous genres so that it transcends the generic "chick flick" label.



In fact, I was honestly surprised by how engrossed I became-- although I still remembered a few of the film's twists and the way that the "demons" and angry subway fighting ghost terrified me as a young girl first seeing the film, Zucker's film still managed to genuinely engage and rivet throughout.



A movie that almost wasn't made-- at least in the form that it's been ultimately released-- as Rubin admits in "Ghost Stories: The Making of a Classic" that he cried when discovering that Airplane and Naked Gun satirist Jerry Zucker was interested in directing. Additionally, the extra continues frankly with more admissions including Zucker himself said that "over my dead body would Road House Patrick Swayze" star, as well as Swayze sticking to his guns by nailing his audition and also going as far as to say that he refused to proceed in pre-production unless he could do a scene and audition with Whoopi Goldberg (who at the time he didn't know but had long-admired).

With countless A-list stars turning it down as essentially Swayze's role is one that "reacts" to the women as opposed to commands the film, Moore-- who at the time had mostly starred in smaller roles and wasn't deemed "box office" yet-- admitted that the "potential for failure was so high."



Perfecting Rubin's original "what if" premise which was inspired by the central conflict of Hamlet and the question of how one would react in the twentieth century if a ghost wanted vengeance for his death, Rubin and Zucker worked on nineteen drafts which led to its Oscar winning formula and in addition to the other special features which have been transferred over from the DVD including commentary by the writer and director, "Inside the Paranormal," "Alchemy of a Love Scene," a Photo Gallery, and high definition version of the film's original theatrical trailer, film buffs and Rom-Com fans will want to check out the AFI inspired ode to Paramount in "Cinema's Great Romances."

Taken from the American Film Institute's list of the "Greatest Passions," this nineteen minute extra interviews numerous scholars and authors about some of Hollywood's most loved romantic classics, including Ghost.



Released on December 30 from Paramount, Ghost is one of the more impressive discs I've seen so far as far as Blu-ray picture and sound goes with full widescreen 1080p High Defintion and English 5.1 Dolby True HD along with 5.1 Dolby Digitial Surround in French and Spanish (with corresponding subtitles available in the corresponding languages along with Portugese). Just remember that while the film should be available everywhere, pottery wheels, "Unchained Melody," tissues, and waterproof mascara are sold separately.